Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
“Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.”
Ambrose Bierce
Happiness, Wedding, Woman
Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
“Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.”
Ambrose Bierce
Happiness, Misery, Sensation
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
“Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.”
Ambrose Bierce
Boundaries, Divorce
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
“War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.”
Ambrose Bierce
God, War, Way
Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
“Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.”
Ambrose Bierce
Dead, Saint, Sinner
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
“Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.”
Ambrose Bierce
Politics, Principles
Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
“Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.”
Ambrose Bierce
Laziness, Low, Person
Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
“Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from...”
Ambrose Bierce
Age, Childhood, Life
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
“Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”
Ambrose Bierce
Child, Mom, Mother
Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.
“Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.”
Ambrose Bierce
Doubt, Shadow, Truth
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
“Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.”
Ambrose Bierce
Me, More, Person
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
“Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.”
Ambrose Bierce
Others, Politics, Wishes
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
“Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.”
Ambrose Bierce
Independence, Intelligence
Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
“Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.”
Ambrose Bierce
Art, Picture, Sun
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
“Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.”
Ambrose Bierce
Good, Others, Two
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
“Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.”
Ambrose Bierce
Destiny, Failure, Fool
Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.
“Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.”
Ambrose Bierce
Lie, People, Proud
Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
“Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.”
Ambrose Bierce
Age, Experience, Light
Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
“Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.”
Ambrose Bierce
Act, Bread, Side
Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
“Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.”
Ambrose Bierce
Education, Foolish, Wise
Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
“Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.”
Ambrose Bierce
Perseverance, Success
Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
“Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.”
Ambrose Bierce
Legal, Pig, You
Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
“Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.”
Ambrose Bierce
Name, Patriotism, Ready
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
“Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.”
Ambrose Bierce
Coward, Emergency, Legs
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
“The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.”
Ambrose Bierce
Business, Gambling, Looks
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
“Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
Ambrose Bierce
Insanity, Love, Marriage
“Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.”
Ambrose Bierce
Animals, Mouth, Purpose
“Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.”
Ambrose Bierce
Power, Praise, Wealth
“Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave...”
Ambrose Bierce
American, People, Politics
“Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.”
Ambrose Bierce
Person, Pleasure, Temptation